I Took Another Road
The road to self-discovery and bravery
Choosing to walk the path less frequented can be difficult. As creatures of habit, we gravitate toward familiar spaces, even when they work to our detriment. It takes wisdom, strength, ownership, and growth to admit that you’ve fallen into the same hole repeatedly—and even more courage to choose a different path to avoid it entirely.
The Autobiography in Five Short Chapters by Portia Nelson teaches us the value of intentionality in obtaining better results for our lives. Born Betty Mae Nelson on May 27, 1920, in Brigham City, Utah, Nelson was a multi-talented American artist. Known for her soprano voice, she performed in 1950s cabarets, starred in films like The Sound of Music (1965) and Doctor Dolittle (1967), and wrote the deeply reflective book There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery. This book, which features the poem, is beloved for its honest exploration of personal growth and has been embraced by many, especially in twelve-step recovery programs.
Nelson’s work continues to resonate even after her passing on March 6, 2001. Her music, acting, and poetry remain a source of inspiration, encouraging people to reflect, grow, and find the courage to chart a new course.
I first discovered Portia Nelson’s poem in graduate school at Syracuse University. I was immediately captivated by its raw honesty and simple yet profound narrative of self-discovery. While it takes the narrator five chapters to choose another road, the truth it conveys is universal: we are creatures of habit and comfort.
I have women in my life who long for change but are terrified of it. To them, the pain they know feels safer than the uncertainty of the unknown. They’ve developed coping mechanisms to navigate their pain and, while they grumble about their plight, they remain unwilling to risk change. For them, change represents upheaval, and the thought of stepping into uncharted territory is too overwhelming to bear.
I, however, have always taken the opposite approach. I’ve seen the pain and suffering that stagnation can bring, and I’ve chosen to embrace change instead. I’ve moved across the country to unfamiliar states where I knew no one, started new jobs, and forged new connections. For me, change offers the chance for a better outcome, while staying put feels like a guaranteed path to destruction. That, I determined long ago, was not my portion.
The Poem
In the poem Autobiography in Five Short Chapters, Portia Nelson writes:
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
In Chapter One, Portia doesn’t take ownership for falling into the hole. She didn’t know it was there. How could it be her fault? There were no signs warning her about the hole, no barricades blocking the path, and no one to help her climb out. Of course, it took a long time to escape—it’s her first encounter, and she’s too consumed by the shock of falling to think about how she got there.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
In Chapter Two, Portia makes a choice to walk down the same street, fully aware of the hole, but pretends not to see it—and falls in again. She’s stuck in denial, refusing to take responsibility for her decision. This time, she can’t claim ignorance, yet she continues to shift the blame.
We can examine this chapter and see parallels in our own lives. How often do we find ourselves repeating mistakes, convincing ourselves they aren’t our fault, or failing to reflect on our choices? Portia’s experience mirrors what happens when we refuse to learn from past missteps.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
In Chapter Three, Portia is more self-aware. She sees the hole but falls in anyway—it’s a habit now. This time, however, she takes responsibility. She doesn’t waste time blaming others or making excuses. She owns her actions and gets out of the hole immediately.
How often do we return to situations we know will harm us? Even with awareness, we sometimes choose to fall into the same traps. While taking responsibility and quickly recovering is progress, there’s still a deeper question: why do we keep returning to the same streets?
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
In Chapter Four, Portia exercises wisdom. She still chooses the same street but avoids the hole. She navigates the danger without falling in. While this is progress, we might question her choice of path. Why does she keep returning to the same treacherous road? Is it familiarity? Habit?
And how often do we do the same—convincing ourselves that as long as we avoid the obvious pitfalls, we’re making the right choice? But are we? Or is there a better, safer route to our destination?
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
Chapter Five, the shortest and most powerful chapter, shows Portia stepping into true transformation. She has leveled up and is now walking in bravery. This time, she doesn’t just navigate around the hole—she chooses another street entirely.
The path with the hole was wide and familiar, a well-trodden route that many still take. Even when Portia exercised wisdom in avoiding the hole last time, it was wisdom embroidered with foolishness because she was still walking the same dangerous road.
This time, however, wisdom is embroidered with bravery. Portia chooses to forge a new direction. She breaks away from the beaten path, knowing there is freedom in choosing something unfamiliar but better.
And so can we. We don’t have to keep walking down familiar streets just because they’re known or comfortable. We have the courage to step off those paths and chart new ones that lead to greater outcomes. We can be brave.
Choosing Another Path
Portia Nelson's poem is a journey of self-awareness, personal responsibility, and the courage to choose a different path.
"To Thine Own Self be True"
– William Shakespeare, Hamlet
Are you walking in circles, going down the same street with the same hole, falling in, and finding yourself in the same mess?
Fatigue makes us question our judgment: "I don't have the strength to go through this again."
Fear makes us stay on the path: "Falling into the hole isn't fun, but it's familiar, and at least I know where I am."
Bravery makes us choose a different path: "There are better outcomes for my life, and I choose to walk down a different street."
Being brave means stepping into the unfamiliar, but it also means trusting that the outcome will be better. How? Because God is guiding and supporting us, even when we venture into unknown territories.
Choosing a new and unfamiliar path requires both bravery and faith. However, God promises to walk with us every step of the way and to provide guidance wherever we go. Let’s find comfort in His word:
1. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV): "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight."
2. Joshua 1:9 (NIV): "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
3. Isaiah 43:19 (NIV): "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland."
4. Psalm 32:8 (NIV): "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."
5. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV): "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Beloved, I hope you are inspired and encouraged by Portia Nelson's poem and the hope and trust we find in God's word. He promises to walk with us every step of the way. Forging a new path or going in a direction that is different from everyone else in your life can feel intimidating—but take courage:
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."
– 2 Timothy 1:7 (NKJV)
Walk in the assurance that God empowers you with bravery and wisdom as you forge new paths in your life.